My mom never complained through her illness, she always said, "It will be alright", I can almost handle her death, because I know she is in Heaven and in peace with no more suffering.
But I keep thinking of the suffering, it is almost like I have post tramatic stress or something.
I do good one minute and can burst out crying the next. I guess this is all normal.
I already miss my mom so much and can't even bear to think of the holidays.
I know I need to go on for my dad, husband, kids and grandkids, but right now I don't think
I can bear putting up a Christmas tree or decorating, and I usually love the holidays.
My mom came from a family of 11 children, she grew up in proverty, but made sure her
children had a better life. I think of all the wonderful things that she taught me about life.
My mom enjoyed helping people in need, she was always gathering up a bag of groceries or clothing
to take to someone she knew was in need.
She taught me never to make fun of anyone and she could always make me laugh, no matter
how bad things were. She was a big sender of cards, get well, encouragement, Birthday, Christmas, Sympathy, she loved sending cards to others.
She loved her family so much and adored her grandchildren. If you came to visit mom,
you better expect not to leave the house without eating something.
I know life goes on and I have to go back to work, but my life will never be the same, my heart
has a big hole in it. Please pray for my family and that I can get joy and creativity back into my life.
Mom would want me to go on, but it is so hard.
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12 comments:
i know exactly how you feel.My mother passed away the day after Mother's Day in 2014.The 1st christmas was rough as that was her birthday.Every year since I was a little girl my mom baked cinnamom for christmas. the 1st chriastmas she was gone i baked cinnamom rolls and sent to my brother and sister and have vowed that as along as i am able they will get them for christmas.
So so very sorry and sad about your mom.
I share the same emotions since my only sister passed 6 months ago. Very very hard! I still can't believe she is gone, but she is out of pain and no more suffering.
Hugs and prayers
Oh hon I am so so sorry! I will keep you in my prayers. I know God and your mom will help you through this grief!
Love and Blessings
Cindi
I'm so very sorry! Please accept a big hug from me. Maggie
I am so sorry for your loss.
My heartfelt sympathy. I know what you are going through and it isn't easy and doesn't get better. My Mom lived longer than my Dad and I was so busy making sure she was coping that I didn't have time to grieve for my Dad. Then when Mom passed it hit me so very, extremely, hard. But I know that it's okay to cry when the tears are ready to fall down your cheek. Most times when this happens all of a sudden something funny pops into my head, something we did together, messed up together, and then the tears stop for the time being. Give in to all your emotions, and make sure you give yourself "me time" because it is very important and it will help with taking care of your Dad. Parents are precious, we never stop loving them and missing them. And...it's not over, we will be reunited - in Heaven, forever.
Blessings to you, and hugs.
Oh Lecia, It breaks my heart to know you are suffering so. Time will heal the wounds, but try not to worry about your Mom's suffering. Jesus, God's son, was asked to suffer so much for us...can we expect any less for ourselves? 1 Peter 5:10 says "And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast." If we look at suffering as somehow uniting ourselves in some small way to the suffering Jesus bore, it may be easier to take. God doesn't give us more than we can handle, and I think you Mom knew this by telling you it would be alright. I continue to pray for you and for your family. Try to be joyous in knowing your Mom is at peace and with our Lord. It's hard to be without her, but she would want you to continue to carry on as best as you can. Hugs and blessings my dear friend.
2 Corin 4:17 "For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all"
Oh dear Lecia, I am so sad and my heart hurts. :( I have been thinking of you a lot lately and wondered if you and your mom were okay. I have prayed for you all.
The comments before mine have been kind and supportive and all that I would say. It is so nice to know that life doesn't end here. That we WILL see each other again. I really believe that.
I pray that you will have the physical, emotional and spiritual strength you need to get through the "firsts". And that you will always remember that Heavenly Father is there. He knows how you feel and what you need. Take time to talk with Him. And listen and feel what He gives back to you. He loves you. You are a precious Daughter of God. :) Be strong, be brave and however you get through this is the right way for you.
I have been praying hard too that my mom will not go soon. With everything and everyone I have to deal with I just don't think I have the strength. But I need to remember Who is always there for me and Who loves me and will lift me up. As He will you.
Prayers to feel His Love and Peace. And BIG HUGS, my friend.
I lost my dear sweet mom to cancer just over a year ago. She lived with my husband & I & family all through the years and I miss her so. Time will help you get past the worst of the sadness and you will find a new 'normal'. Life will never be the same, or quite as good, but it will go on until God calls you home and you can have a family reunion! Rats, now I just made myself cry again! Prayers for you, that the Lord will comfort you and give you joy in your precious memories!
Lecia, I'm so very sorry to hear about your mom. Sending you big hugs my friend. Thank you for stopping by my blog :) Your mom sounds so much like my mother in law. She is always sending cards to everyone she knows that is sick. The most kindest person I know. In time you will get better. Perfectly normal to be going through what you are right now. Double hard this time of the year. My heart aches for you.
It does sound like symptoms of post traumatic stress that you are going through. It doesn't have to be a war or a catastrophic event to have the same symptoms. I think we always struggle emotional with what is events that we all will go through-the loss of loved ones and eventually our own loss of life. Putting up trees and the traditions of the holidays can bring us comfort but also extreme sadness. I think just getting through those moments of extreme distress requires trying to move into our thinking brain so we don't stay in the emotional brain too long. Living life is about balance so when you find the distress dragging you down into sad emotions it helps to count numbers, get up and walk, do a chore or rake the yard but move the body so that you can concentrate on something else. It helps me when my heart is breaking and our heart can break whether it is one week out or 10 years out. Wishing you bravery.
I am so sorry you lost your mom! She sounds like an amazing woman, bless her to be Home with our Lord and free from suffering. I will be praying for you! I know it's so hard to lose your mom. (((hugs)))
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